Terrible Quotations You Won’t Find On “Best Quotes” Lists

 1. 

Let everything get to you. Even the small stuff. Be bothered by everything.

2.

Cower in the face of adversity. Cower like you’ve never cowered before. That’s it, more pathetic.

3.

Look in the mirror every day and tell yourself three things:

1. I’m not shrinking

2. I am a normal size human and I am not getting smaller

3. That measuring tape is a liar, you cannot prove that I’m shorter than I was yesterday

4.

Science has shown that worrying shortens your lifespan. Why are you worrying so much? You tryin’ to die young?

5.

Take advantage of all opportunities. You’re broke? Tough teddies. Here’s a buck. Psyche. What do I look like, an opportunity?

6.

You’ve got to try new things every now and then. You know, like skydiving without a parachute. Life’s all about trying to skydive without parachutes. Whoa, that’s deep.

7.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. “Beauty” is what I call my fancy knife. That’s what you get for playing with Beauty.

8.

Cherish all the memories you make even if they’re a little weird. No, don’t tell me about them, I’m not your priest. Just cherish your weird little memories and bury them deep down inside like a good little freak.

9. 

You gotta find things to be grateful for. Sometimes I’m grateful that there’s nothing to be grateful for. It takes a little work but it’s worth it.

10. 

Let go of the stuff you’re holding on to. That’s it, hand it over. This is a robbery.